AS FAMILIAR TO HER AS BREATHING
The Fear of Softer Edges
Read for free!
--
The wagon slowly meandered along the road, passing by a seemingly endless expanse of fields. Some contained little more than the remnants of a good harvest while others were being tended to even as the travelers trundled past. Each of the road’s nuances was a bone-rattling, jaw-clenching, headache-inducing experience, but the weather was nice at least. An indolent cloud obscured the sun’s wrath, the air was comfortably cool, and the wind was a gently stirred breath.
It was enough to soften Orcen’s ever-present scowl, and though relaxation might have been impossible, she came as close to it as she could given the circumstances. Even the incessant itching that had plagued her since her ship dropped anchor in this hell had subsided into no more than a minor discomfort.
“Would you believe I’d almost forgotten that Syldning in Thymiene felt this nice?” She’d felt an inner pressure to say it aloud, not that she really expected a response. Or even wanted one, truth be told. The words tasted like ash in her mouth, and as surely as the sun rose each and every morning, a scowl creased her features as the uncomfortable moment of something approaching fondness for her childhood home was quickly swept under the wagon. “It might be one of the only nice things about this damned place,” she amended, and suddenly, all was once more right with the world. Little existed in Eden more predictable than the anger of the great and terrible Orcen Caremn.
“Similar statements could be made of yourself.” The evaluation rumbled deep from within Vagus, and though his serious tone came off cold, the truth of the light teasing shone through in his chuckle.
Orcen pinned him with the sulphurous glow of her eyes, a challenge sparking dangerously close to the surface. “Really now?” she questioned as her lips curled dangerously. She waited until he nodded his head in agreement, knowing that he wasn’t one to back down from a decision once made, then continued, “And exactly what sort of ‘similar statements’ could be made about me?”
Quiet descended upon the companions with open familiarity. Vagus Snowbeard was a man of few words and many silences, and when he didn’t immediately answer her question, she was forced to hold herself back from immediately pouncing on the lack of words. She even restrained the urge to stare at him until he spoke and forced her eyes to the countryside where they restlessly roamed.
They had long since left Nianthole behind. This far from Thymiene’s sprawling capital and seaport, the communities grew small and in moderate seclusion. None of those aforementioned communities were currently in sight, of course, leaving Orcen with a broad view of absolutely nothing. Nothing she hadn’t seen a million times already, at any rate. It was as familiar to her as breathing.
“Most believe you are darkness, and there is much dark to you,” Vagus began, drawing her attention back to him with his deep voice. As ever seemed to be the case, his arctic gray eyes were sharp, serious, and displayed little of what lay within. He was a rock, and only those with his permission were allowed to see past that impenetrable exterior. “Many are afraid of the dark for they do not understand it, and some are afraid of what it might hide. Some revere the light so highly that the absence of it must play the villain. We are told horrors of the dark meant to frighten us.”
Orcen’s thin lips pressed together as a single eyebrow arched. “So I’m a villain to be feared? That’s what you’re trying to say about me?” She asked, knowing fully well that she had interrupted him. He’d explained to her ages ago that it was a habit of hers that annoyed him. At first, she hadn’t realized she had been interrupting until after the fact. After he had informed her, however, she continued simply because she knew that it irritated him on some level (whether or not he actually showed it).
“That is how many perceive you, especially here. Much of you is dark,” her companion responded evenly, showing none of the irritation that he must have felt. “I see the dark differently. It is merely another facet of the world. It has a concealing nature that allows it to hide many ferocious surprises, but that is its nature. For that, and for the fact that it is a formidable enemy, I respect the darkness. The only fear I feel is for the ignorant fools who throw themselves uselessly against such a mighty force.”
Sensing that he was finished this time, Orcen thought about what he had said. She was dark, but that was natural. Formidable, to be respected, mighty… Why, it almost sounded as if he were kissing ass. If she hadn’t been married to the sentimental giant for ten years, she might have actually believed that was exactly what he was doing.
Of course, that also meant that he knew by now that she didn’t have a sentimental bone in her body. She shifted her position in the wagon, tucking her legs in and turning so that her body faced Vagus. She pushed herself back until her shoulders pressed against the rough wood of the wagon, and she stretched out her long legs, propping her booted feet in her husband’s lap. “Please, do continue to sing my praises. Feel free to be a bit more direct about it this time though.” She settled back into her new position, crossing her arms over her chest as she smirked at him.
A sound rumbled from Vagus that could have conceivably been an acquiescing noise, though it was just as likely to be a laugh. Without reply, he unlaced and removed Orcen’s leather boots. First one, then the other, followed by the thin socks beneath, which he stuffed into the tops of the shoes and tossed aside. She notched a black eyebrow as he returned his hands to her bronze feet but made no sort of protest. As he began to massage her feet, her squared shoulders even began to relax from their ready position, and she allowed herself to lean back against the wagon’s wooden frame more fully. “Not quite singing my praises,” she mused and continued generously, “but I think I can accept this as well.”
Several minutes passed in quiet companionship before Orcen’s contentment was rudely snatched away. While rubbing her feet, Vagus’ hands snuck around her to her ankles without her noticing, and once in position, he pulled, dragging her across the wagon until her upper body was upside down in his lap with her legs propped against the wall of the wagon. One arm had moved across her middle, trapping her in place as she glared up at his grinning face.
“What the fuck?” she burst out, the reply to which was his thunderous laughter. As her expression darkened, Orcen flipped herself over by pushing against the wall her feet had come to rest against. He didn’t let go, and she couldn’t drag him very far, but she was strong enough to catch him off balance. As he wobbled, she broke his grip around her waist and used one of her bare feet to kick him over. The rickety wagon shuddered and groaned under the sudden force of his falling weight, but nothing broke.
Yet.
As she moved to stand, Vagus wrapped his legs around one of hers firmly and pulled her weight out from under her so that she staggered and fell on top of him with a grunt. Even as she struggled to sit up, he wrapped his arms and legs around her, successfully immobilizing her. Orcen growled as she struggled against him, attempting to find some sort of leverage she could use to free herself, and when that failed, she stilled and turned inward.
He must have figured out what she had been planning on doing because he shifted their positioning then and kissed her. This left Orcen faced with a choice.
There was a place and time in which she would have jumped on the chance for a fight without a backwards glance, to prove that she could kick his ass or just to satisfy the fire always burning in her middle. However, the years had seen her grow. The anger remained, but it was no longer always so readily at hand, and the thought of showing someone anything except her hardened exterior was not such a far-fetched, impossible idea. Vagus had been good for her. He’d softened some of her sharper edges, he’d made her more civil and patient, less explosive and reckless, and he’d done it all without attempting to domesticate her — simply by being himself.
Their little battles were fun, but neither wouldn’t seriously harm the other. It was often that one of them, usually Vagus, recognized that it was time to stop and would call the truce. It was up to the other to simmer down enough to agree to the stalemate. So Orcen, realizing that he was telling her they had reached that threshold, leaned into the rough beard caressing her face and returned her husband’s kiss. It wasn’t until this point that he finally released her limbs, and her hands went into his silver-tipped hair as their lips discussed the terms and conditions of the battle’s temporary cease-fire.
Orcen never noticed the wagon come to a stop, much less that they had company, until an awkward cough hesitantly interrupted the negotiations taking place. Her head jerked up, and a hand reflexively reached for her hidden knife, only for her to remember that her boots were no longer on her feet. Upon seeing that an enemy did not stand at the back of the wagon, she relaxed fractionally, her bright eyes narrowing in on the middle-aged man dangerously. She must have looked like a demon, crouched over her husband, hair mussed and spilled around her face, long fingers reaching for a weapon, and her severe features pulled into their natural scowl.
“What do you want?” she snapped as she stood and pushed back her hair, which had come loose from its pinned position. Without giving the man a chance to answer, she stomped away from her husband and shoved crates out of her path so that she could retrieve her boots, which had ended up in one of the back corners of the wagon somehow. “Well?” She came back towards the front with a scowl and dropped her reacquired shoes. After pinning her black hair back in a bun once more, she sat down heavily and began to re-dress her feet.
“I was just letting you know that we’re in Tarew.” As the man spoke, Orcen felt the wagon shift and heard the groaning of the boards, signalling that Vagus had stood. She could imagine the wagoneer looking to her husband, seeking out the reasonable one in the relationship, maybe hoping for some words of compassion or apology, though not a peep left the giant’s mouth.
Probably realizing that the silence was his hint to keep talking, the man continued, “Two days, and we’ll be in Opaline. You should make it to the docks within a day easy from there, even on foot. As for tonight, you can sleep in the wagon if you like, but there’s inns aplenty here if you want to go looking for a room. Just remember that we’re leaving early tomorrow morning.”
Orcen’s head snapped up, but he showed wisdom in having turned to leave as soon as the words were out of his mouth. So, rather than tell him what she thought of waking up while it was still dark just so they could get an early start to the day, she settled for burning a hole between his shoulder-blades with her glare. Seeing him fidget a bit before he disappeared around the corner, she even consoled herself with the thought that he’d actually felt the weight of her displeasure though she hadn’t so much as lifted a finger or uttered a word.
“You are feared,” Vagus stated, sounding satisfied, as he passed her by and stepped down onto the ground.
Recommended Reading Corner
“Open Arms” by felt like the right choice for my recommended read today because much like Orcen, the main character in this story is capable of raising the dead. This story manages to pack a hell of a punch in a very short space, so be sure to go give it a read!
